Friday, January 11, 2008

Ceritera countdowning maal hijrah


This entry is coded and classified RED for RDA*?

If you ask me how I celebrated the new Hijrah year?
My answer is, I was thinking...

I was countdowning the new year last Wednesday night while driving back from office. And there was a considerably massive traffic jam along the Federal Highway. And as usual mulut-mulut takde insuran people will say things like what do you expect, it's Federal Highway, use public transport, bla bla bla...

Actually, I could still stand the congestion, even it took 100 minutes to travel 12km. I could still do my thinking process, recapping last year, thinking of long-lost friends, those who are still immature even at 22 years old, emails I've read or received or others received that talk about me in the past few days, bla bla bla... I could still think rationally.

But not until I saw this electronic signage. It was placed less than 50 metres from where the traffic flow started to improve. It's like saying, "THE FUCKING TRAFFIC JAM ENDS HERE". WTF?! I don't need to know that when I can see the traffic jam eases right in front of my eyes.


What I need is something like, "TRAFFIC JAM STARTS HERE" or "ACCIDENT NEAR XXX, USE LEFT LANE" or "GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, THIS HIGHWAY SUCKS BIG TIME" or something like "PAY LESS TOLL, EAT THIS JAM".

And the signage should be visibly placed 12km back, which I could've seen it some 100 minutes ago which is equivalent to how many rounds of sex.

But that was not happening. I entered into the traffic jam, not knowing how far to go until the traffic eases, what causes the congestion or what other alternatives route should I take? And the traffic reports on local radios, they're just so not informative and suck big time.

And you know what I was thinking while countdowning the new Hijrah year?
The biggest flop in Malaysian political history is to elect Samy Vellu as the Minister of Works.

And if you want to know what's my resolution for the new Hijrah year?
A change in political climate of this country. I don't mind a total change... from faded BLUE to LIGHT BLUE and/or GREEN.

Luckily, I arrived home safely with mind still sound after 148 minutes on road, that's 8.7km/hour in average.



==
*RDA = Reader Discretion Advised, formerly known as What the Fuck? (WTF?). Dan nasib baik aku tak tunduk ikut cakap last minute sorang kawan tu nak ke Bagan Lalang. Kalau tak, mesti berbakul wattafak di malam tahun baru dia kena dengan aku sebab aku gerenti nafsu menyantap aku dah sampai tahap mandul sebab sepanjang jalan aku asyik ingat muka menteri yang tanam astroturf kat kepala tu.



3 comments:

Lord Budak said...

And I reckon rockets too

Alie said...

nice one kicap..especially the footnotes!!! .....hilariously sarcastic yet very true!

deOughtred said...

lord budak,
dacing tu barang antik kan?
roket pergi bulan kan?
kalau nak pergi matahari?
samy vellu kata, kita pergi malam..
hahahah...

alie,
kekekekeke... bung wak bung kek kek...

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