FIFA's World Cup House Rules

For the past one week and the next 2 months, my favorite channel have been and will be Astro's 804. I do not care who won or will win the by-elections, I do not give a damn who will win AI and fuck the hell with AF8, I just don't care! All I care is World Cup 2010 South Africa and little bit about Malaysia winning the Thomas Cup, and I still watch a little bit of Kardashian series and KLS's too! Hehehehe...

As I'll be a die-hard Henry's and France's fan for the World Cup... ahhh... let's save my prediction for the World Cup later.

Saw this article on the World Cup House Rules - applicable to those who're not really into it and those who'll asking people questions like "Siapa menang semalam ha?" or uttering statements like "Eeeeee... Drogba tu hensem laaa..." or "Alaaa... sedih lah I pasukan Italy kalah. Tu pasukan favorite I tu sejak dia menang World Cup 2006." Nak termuntah aku dengar statement-statement macam tu. Baik korang duduk diam-diam, lagi elok!

So, here are the House Rules:


Dear Wife / Sweetheart / Girl Friend / Partner / whomever it may concern,

1. Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during that day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again, many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.

P/S

By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or AAM.

Thank you for your coorperation.


So, paham ke tak? Kalau tak paham, just keep quiet and "Drogba is not handsome or cute, ok?!"